This past week has had its ups and downs. The up, my twin flew in from California and I got to have much needed twin time with her. The down, I got admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. Sometimes I swear I can not catch a break, and sometimes I think, "really God, is this necessary?" I don't know the answer, but I do know God allowed me to be sick, even tho it sucks, a lot. But I know He is good and He is sovereign over all. But, you know what, I can't even complain. The Lord has been sustaining me and HEALING me, not only from this pneumonia but from cancer! Yesterday I had a doctors appointment, and I usually dread these appointments because they are literally 8 hours long. But yesterday was different. Yesterday the doctor came in the room and told me that the mass that was the size of a small cantaloupe is no longer detectable on a CT scan!!!! Like happy dance initiated now. How can I complain about pneumonia when the Lord has been so faithful and good.
So with all this going on I have this peace, knowing God is in control. Amidst the chaos, and thru the storm, there is this peace that resonates inside of me. I know everything will be alright. At first, the diagnosis was scary, and sometimes now when I lay in bed fearing the unknown, I remind myself who is in charge, who the Prince of Peace is, and I rest in it. I've been holding tight to the verse in Isaiah which says, "Behold I will extend peace to her like a river."
I can't believe how much God is teaching me thru this situation. I look back to last year, I JUST became a medic, I was so excited, I had worked so hard at getting that card stating I was a paramedic. Fast forward 6 months, I told someone I wouldn't give up being a paramedic for anything. Then, the beginning of May, I told the Lord I was willing to sacrifice everything for Him, and He took away my job, even if its for a short while, and I've had to learn to rely on Him. I no longer have an income, and I'm relying on my parents for my means of income. But there is a verse that comes to mind when I get upset about not having money, or not being able to support myself.
Philippians 4:19 "And my God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
Isn't that awesome to know. So many people have blessed me with donations and gift cards, it's amazing how the Lord provides, even in the smallest ways. (5 dollar gift cards to Starbucks have made my day so many times)
Please keep me in prayer the rest of the week. The doctor wants my symptoms of pneumonia to go away before I start my 4th round of chemo. (Scheduled for this upcoming Friday) But if I still have the pesky annoying cough my chemo gets pushed back to next week, and I really don't want that to happen.
Much love to all of you. Thank you so much for the love and support.